I hate to complain again. And I hate to complain about the bathrooms here again. And I hate to hate, but this kind of needs to be said.
People have weird bathroom habits.
It’s true. I don’t know for sure whether it’s everybody, but I’m sure quite a few people have some little bathroom-related quirks. I, for example, take a really long time in the bathroom. And I’m talking about when I go to the bathroom right before bed. Seriously, I probably take as long or longer than most girls, and I’m not taking a shower or anything (those are in the morning)! Here’s my list for those curious (tmi alert I guess):
1. Use the facilities.
2. Change clothes.
3. Wash hands.
4. Brush teeth.
5. Floss teeth.
6. Wash face.
7. Rinse mouth with mouthwash.
8. Put on acne cream thing #1.
9. Put on acne cream thing #2.
10. Wash hands final time.
Yup, ten things. That’s what I do in the bathroom every. single. night. Even when it’s late and I’d rather go straight to bed, I do this. When I say “good night, I’m going to bed” to someone, I’m really saying “good night to you. Personally, I’m about to go do like 20 minutes worth of stuff before I get to crawl into bed and then I’ll get to have a good night.”
Now, where am I going with this? Well, while my habits may be inconvenient to those waiting to use the bathroom, at least this is at night when it doesn’t matter as much (besides, there are other bathrooms anyway they are free to go to). And at least I leave the bathroom in the same or better condition than it was when I got in. Some people have very disgusting habits that directly affect me.
I’m talking about things like leaving half the hair on his body all over the place. It’s on the shower floor, on the bathroom floor, in AND around the bathroom sink…it’s everywhere.
I’m also talking about not flushing the toilet after going numba one. Seriously, it’s not that hard. It should be human instinct by now to flush as soon as you go. That shit (note: not literal shit) is unsanitary and I don’t want to be greeted by it when I really need to go.
Lastly, I am also ALSO talking about something else. Have you ever seen the movie Daddy Day Care? If not….don’t watch it. It’s not worth it. BUT! There is something I still remember about it these years later that is relevant here. Remember that scene (that was probably in the commercials too) where the kid went to the bathroom? And then the kid told Eddie Murphy that he missed? And then the camera showed Eddie Murphy looking down…then around…then up to the ceiling with a disgusted face the entire time at the mess that was made? Well….ok, no, that didn’t happen to me. But, the non-pee equivalent did happen. I mean, seriously, someone must have been using the sink as the freaking shower or something, because there was a pool of water on the ground by the sink (it was dry by the shower), water on the walls and mirror, and maybe even some water on the ceiling. Seriously? What the heck were you doing? If you are going to so thoroughly cleanse yourself in such a way that you get spray water in a 360 radius like that, just take a freaking shower IN THE SHOWER AND NOT THE SINK! If you want me to consider you a normal person, please do not do that.
Now, maybe that was a watery revenge or something for me taking so much time in the bathroom, but at least after I leave the bathroom, the place is still usable.
And I hope to God that’s the last time I have to do a bathroom-related post. Or else this will become “Suspiciously Angry At Bathroom-related Miscellanea.”
suspiciously generic 