The following is what happens when I feel my textbooks are getting out of hand with their fancy terminology; I make stuff up. (Oddly enough, during the course of the time I was writing these, my professor goes and makes up the following definition for “Relative Dating,” which wasn’t what inspired me to do this at all…weird.)
Relative Dating: Asking your sister out for a date.
Acheulean: Technical term for the phrases people use when sneezing. Originated from the onomatopoeia for sneezing of “Ah-choo.” Ex: There are several Acheulean phrases such as “God Bless You,” “Gesundheit,” and “Salud.”
Calibrated Relative Dating Techniques: Techniques used to perfectly coordinate two people to meet up at the correct time so that they begin dating. Ex: “If all works according to my Calibrated Relative Dating Technique, Jen and Brian should meet up and fall madly in love for each other at exactly 2:37 in that crappy McDonald’s down the street.”
Calotte: A term exclusively used in Quebec as a French derivative of “a lot.” Ex: Calotte of escargot and croissants were at the wedding during the Early Stone Age.
Early Stone Age: The time period for the band, The Rolling Stones when they would play at family weddings and play covers of The Beatles’ few songs at the time.
Geomagnetic Polarity Time Scale (GPTS): Scale used to tell how far apart people are. Ex: After the messy break-up that involved three too many affairs, Jen and Brian were at the opposite ends of the Geomagnetic Polarity Time Scale.
Omomyoids: Out of date urban code word meaning to “hide the drugs.” Originated from habit of ‘60s teens hiding drugs from their parents. They would quickly say “Oh mom! Zoinks!” whenever they heard her approaching. As the phrase was always said in a rush, it eventually devolved into the jumble of “o-mom-yoids.”
Platycnemic: Ceramics made by platypuses. Ex: There has yet to be any evidence of Platycnemics despite the urges of a small population of Cryptozoologists.
Supraorbital Torus: The large orbit that the astronomy sign of Torus the Ox seems to take across the night sky throughout the year.
Tool Industry: Another term for the “sheeples” of society, or the people who blindly follow what they are told to do. See “tool” as referred to a person.
Well, that’s all I have for now. Feel free to submit any new definitions for technical terms you find (either in the comments, or through email or whatever). I am quite interested in screwing up words horribly like this.
suspiciously generic 