One and a half months since my last actual blog-like blog post. Long enough, I suppose. And now’s a good a time as ever since my first year of college is in its final week and I still have things to complain about as well as reminisce on. Let’s go!:
So, stairs. I live on the fourth floor out of twelve here in Middlebrook Hall’s tower. That means going down the stairs is a cinch and going up the stairs takes just long enough to be a bit of a pain in the arse. Personally, I like going up the stairs since I feel as though that excuses me from ever working out during the school year and I don’t feel as guilty eating a lot at the dining hall, but many other people on the floor feel otherwise. They like to use the elevators of which there are three (at least, when they aren’t broken/vandalized).
Alright, so what? They can use the elevator if they really want to, the lazy bastards. If they get fat because of it, that’s their own problem. Well…thing is, that’s not how people above the fourth floor see things. If you go in the elevator and so much as get the nerve to light up the “4” with your grubby finger after the other guy who got on before you pushed “12,” you are the spawn of Satan himself and should be damned for eternity as punishment for your crimes against humanity. I’m serious too. If anyone on, ohh, I’d say 5 and below takes the elevator with people from above, they are bound to catch shit (usually behind their backs) 9 times out of 10. …ok, more like 1 time out of 10, but that’s still quite a bit! And for real 9 times out of 10 if you are going DOWN from the fourth. Hey, Mr.I’m-12th-and-obviously-deserve-this-elevator-so-much-more-than-you-because-I-pay-so-much-more-for-these-services, maybe my leg is injured or maybe I’m sick, or maybe my backpack is painfully heavy or some shit. You don’t know me! You don’t know my life! If I want to be a lazy asshole who actually has no legitimate reason to take the elevator th-wait, shit.
No, I’m trying to criticize the people on my floor who take the elevator. Well, ok, I kind of am. But I mean, they can sometimes take it. But if they ALWAYS take the elevator, then I have a problem. We are fucking college students. This is like, the prime of our physical condition or some shit like that. You can at least take the stairs DOWN. Gravity does all the freaking work for you, and it’s about the same amount of time since you usually have to wait for the elevator anyway. Now, if it’s the middle of the night, then fine, nobody is in a rush and you can take your fancy-dancy-loopdy-lopdy elevator like the fancy-pants you are. Just please, don’t give this floor a bad name by always making people stop on this floor for no legitimate reason other than laziness. Although, at least we’re better than some of those people who take the elevator from like 10th to 8th or something.
Oh, but speaking of stairs. Am I the only one who finds stairs kind of…awkward sometimes? When you’re walking behind someone going up, it’s like you’re in direct line with their freaking ass and it personally makes me uncomfortable. Like, if I look straight ahead, I am literally just seeing butt. So, I try not to walk close. But then it’s slow and it’s not like other people follow my lead. Sometimes they’re behind me, right in my rear, making me feel uncomfortable that way. Maybe I’m missing something? Do people not have a problem with this? Are people avoiding this problem somehow? I mean, yeah, I look to the side and not straight ahead when I’m right behind someone, but that’s only so I don’t have to be looking at their butt. Otherwise, I would be! And that’s just….awkward, I dunno.
And stairs aren’t perfect when you’re alone, either. There’s almost never perfect stairs. Sometimes they’re too steep and you feel like you’ll die unless you take your time with them. Sometimes they are an awkward size so that taking one step at a time is too slow and taking two steps at a time is too big and silly looking (not to mention, it messes with my jive, maaaan). And then there are those stairs that are totally open. Like, they’re just planks sitting there and are otherwise not one solid structure and you can stick your leg through and everything. Those. Are terrible. Maybe it’s just my semi-fear of heights, but I feel like I’m just gonna misstep and slip right through them, tumbling below. *shiver*
But that’s enough about stairs. This wouldn’t be a typical blog post without a commentary on bathrooms. And guess what? They always mange to find their wealth of problems since I’ve got some new ones right here:
Trash. Apparently, some people don’t like changing the garbage bags in their room. Or maybe they never noticed those garbage bins are in their room. Maybe they didn’t know maids don’t come into rooms to change the bags out so they just have one bag from the beginning of the year, sitting their with like 9-month old rubbish rotting luxuriously in a sauna of smell and unruly liquids, waiting to be thrown out. And so they throw everything away in the fucking bathroom trashcan. What. The. Actual. Fuck. I don’t want to go to the bathroom and smell, and then see a bunch of old, half-eaten food in the trashcan. It’s not very appealing to see or smell while I’m just trying to do what I do in the bathroom. And it takes up room so I can’t throw away anything else. Ugh. The bathrooms the girls tend to use here don’t usually have quite the same problem. Instead, they just throw the remains of their..girl..er..productsnear the trashcan. Seriously? The bag isn’t full yet. You can still stuff stuff in there. And yet you just toss it on the floor, so people who aren’t neat around the sink can get water all over it and so there can be soaked, disgusting garbage everywhere imaginable. Blech.
Locks. I can’t express how thankful I am for the invention of the lock because apparently people here don’t know what it means when the bathroom door is closed and the light is ON. No seriously, I’ll just be in the bathroom, minding my own business, doing whatevs, when suddenly there’s a *boom, boom, click, click, calump, calump* as I hear some apparently throw their body wildly against the door, attempt to turn the knob a few times too many, and then try pulling the door off its hinges, all without even asking if someone is in there. WHAT. It’s not THAT common for the door to be closed and for the light to be on and for nobody to be in there. Like, 99 times out of 100, that is NEVER the case. Usually, someone is in there, and usually, they aren’t in a condition in which they would like to be seen, hence the door being closed and the lock being fucking turned so morons like you won’t just stumble on in! And so you can imagine my worry when some bathrooms in my wing suddenly were missing their locks last night and this morning. I had to use the “girl” (not really) bathroom with all the lovely products on the ground since that one didn’t have its lock abducted in the middle of the night by…bathroom pranksters? Seriously, who takes a lock. Maybe it was planned for replacement, since they were newly replaced just a few hours before posting this, but then why not take them off and put new ones on all at the same time rather than hours and hours apart so people can be investigated by any stranger who wishes to come in?
I’m sorry, gotta stop now, I’m too traumatized by simply the thought of this. Maybe I’ll post some sentimental junk about parting ways with people here some other time. Or never. Who knows.
suspiciously generic 