You can pick your friends. You can pick your music. But you can’t pick your friend’s music.

(This post is a sort of rant, but not really a funny one. You’ve been warned.)

I can be enormously annoying in regards to what music I listen to. It’s not exactly like I’m a “picky listener.” Picky eaters only eat very particular foods. I don’t listen only to very particular music. I listen to a range of genres. But almost never what everyone else wants to listen to. Maybe I’m just a hipster, or maybe there’s something more to this. Bare with me here…

Mainstream music seems to almost always be filled with a select few types of songs: party music, more somber music that is usually lamenting a lost love, and then a few token “indie” songs featured in every commercial on TV at the moment. With three broad strokes, I’ve covered almost everything on your average American radio station.

And that’s fine, whatever. I don’t have to listen to those stations if I don’t want to. But the thing is, this music is what defines the current generation. It’s what everyone has heard and what (almost) everyone wants to listen to. Very few people want to listen to things that they haven’t heard before or sound unfamiliar. They want to be comforted by the songs they know and the sounds they expect. But I usually don’t.

I’m doing some loose conjecture here on a scant knowledge of the science behind music, but basically, I think people can find enjoyment from music in four ways–all relying on endorphins being released from the pleasure center of the brain:
1. People’s brains enjoy predicting something (such as an upcoming beat in a song) and hearing it just as predicted.
2. People’s brains enjoy picking up new details of a song upon multiple listens.
3. People’s brains enjoy having resonating emotions with the lyrics of the song.
4. People’s brains enjoy having resonating emotions with the sounds of the song.

People who get more of a rush out of #1 are those who enjoy the easy-to-predict nature of popular music. People who align more with #2 are those who enjoy denser music that can require a few listens to fully appreciate the intricacies behind them. Something new awaits them on each new listen.
People who fall into #3 tend to listen to the lyrics and listen to music that says things that align with their lives.
People who are more the #4 type might be more influenced by the nostalgia of what they heard as a kid and seek out similar sounds.

I believe people can fluctuate between which group they are in based on mood and age and can be in multiple groups at once.

But here’s my problem: it feels like everyone is in group #1 with no regard for any of the other groups aside from maybe #4. Whether it’s just the younger age group (around my age) that tends to be in #1, I don’t know, but that’s the kind of music that rocks the charts so obviously a large amount of music buyers and listeners fall into that category.

Personally, I find it boring. I don’t (usually) want to listen to music that sounds like every other song that’s also popular. I don’t want to listen to thumping party music all the time, since that’s not my life. I’m not partying all the time. I’m not doing “shotsshots shotsshotsshots” and having hangovers every morning. I’m not going to be going crazy tonight or really any night, and I’m not lamenting some love I lost from a mistake I made (likely at a party) or from her cheating (likely at a party). I don’t want to listen to stuff that sounds so generic and speaks so little to me. And I know a great number of other people don’t live that kind of life and yet this is what they listen to. Why? Why do they do that? Am I missing something here? Is this the kind of life they aspire to? Is it that element of nostalgia for some crazy nights they had in college? I just don’t understand.

People tend to say I listen to “sad” or “boring” or “what the heck is this” music. But I almost always treat music like it’s the soundtrack to my life. If I’m cooking dinner, I’m not getting ready for a party. I’m making some warm, comfy food that’s going to go in my belly as I relax in front of the TV or whatever. That’s pretty chill, not super exciting stuff. So I listen to music that fits that mood. Of course, sometimes I listen to more upbeat stuff to get me out of a worse mood and into a better one, but I don’t want to listen to stereotypical party music then. It just makes me think of “getting shit-faced” and being an irresponsible partier who’s going to end up regretting the things he does. I want to listen to stuff that has a sort of “you can do it” or “you’ll be alright” or “you’re a bad-ass” sort of attitude. Maybe it sounds cheesy, but it usually isn’t really, and if it is, I’d rather have cheese than “yeh dud letz partee” any day.

So maybe I can get a bit defensive of my music tastes. And maybe I can get a bit pompous and critical of mainstream music. But it just doesn’t do anything for me.

For now, I guess we’ll just have to agree to meet on the middle with those commercial indie songs.