Something not entirely college related (gasp!)

Well, it’s that time of week again: time to write another blog entry.

It’s also that time of year again: time to worry about winter.

Now, perhaps you are wondering, “why worry about winter? It just became fall, didn’t it?”  Well, in-case you haven’t noticed, Minnesota, Wisconsin, and the other more northern states don’t tend to have very long autumn seasons.  It’s a shame too since the leaves and the weather of autumn are generally quite pleasant.
But anyway, I’m not here to talk about winter specifically.  Not yet anyway (this is a Minnesota-based blog after all).  Oh no, I’m here to talk about the transition from allergy season to flu & cold season, and even more specifically, sneezing.

Sneezing is a very strange medical phenomenon, and a very awkward social phenomenon.  Did you know that sneezes aren’t just from allergies and colds, but also from sudden exposure to bright light and from very full stomachs?  Yes, it’s true! Did you also know that your heart stops beating for a very brief moment when you sneeze too?  YES, it’s–well, actually no. That’s apparently just a myth from Renaissance times. BUT, that could be one explanation for where the phrase “God Bless You” comes from.  It makes a lot of sense, actually. I mean, if my heart stopped for a brief moment and then started up again, I’d feel pretty freaking blessed.  But then wait.  Why the heck is it customary to say “God Bless You” (or the more egotistical variant, “Bless You”) in English-speaking countries?  “Bless you…for…..spreading your germs everywhere?”  “May God bless your ability to still expound an explosion of air and phlegm from your naval cavity, and/or lungs, and/or pharynx or whatever related area this all comes from?”

This makes no sense.

I mean, at least “Gesundheit,” for all it’s similarities to something Adolf Hitler would proclaim loudly in a speech, means “health” in German.  That makes a little more sense since you are spreading your prospective “health” with everyone around you.  “Bless you” is just utter rubbish.

And you are put in a very awkward position if you don’t like saying “bless you” and then somebody has to go and sneeze.  Usually if you are in a classroom and you sneeze, you can expect to have anyone in your general vicinity attempt to bless you.  Thus there brings the question: “If somebody sneezes, and nobody makes an attempt to bless…is the non-blesser a douche or what?”  I mean, for crying out loud, we don’t go around blessing coughs, or hiccups, or the blowing of one’s nose! Why on earth should we say something for sneezing?  Because it’s such a weird, loud, uncontrollable experience of the human body and we feel some need to acknowledge it?   What on earth for!?  All a sneeze does for me is put me in the very awkward situation of what I should say, if anything.  I’m alright personally with the phrase gesundheit, but I know I’ll sound super weird if I say it since, well, really nobody says it.  I could say “bless you” just to be nice to the person who may be expecting it, but it goes against my personal belief!  Sure, it may not be religious per se, but it’s still a legitimate belief that I should uphold.  And heck, maybe this person shares my viewpoint and hates the phrase “bless you” as well!

Sadly, I guess you never know, unless you know this person well enough to know their sneezing/blessing preferences.

All I know is, I try to avoid saying “bless you” if I can.

…but then why does it feel weird when I sneeze and nobody says it to me?

EDIT: Actually, I change my mind. I don’t like “gesundheit.”  If somebody sneezes, and you simply must say something, go the Seinfeld route and say, “You’re sooo good lookin’.” At least that could put a smile on someone’s face. Click this to know what I’m talking about, if you don’t.

EDIT 2: Wow, I can’t believe I also forgot how annoying the etiquette is for after “bless you.”  If I sneeze and somebody says “bless you” to me, then I am expected to thank them even though I never wanted them to say it and am not at all thankful for them continuing this nonsensical tradition.  How unfortunate.

EDIT 3: I really need to stop thinking of so many things after writing the initial blog…but! Just looked it up, and apparently the Japanese typically don’t say anything when people sneeze.  Guess that’s something they have over everyone else (although the plethora of semi-redundant writing systems kind of  destroys that single positive thing; in-case you can’t tell, I’m taking Japanese class).