What the UMN doesn’t want you to know

So the University of Minnesota – Twin Cities seems like a great school (other than football), and it is. But…there are some things about it that seem great at first, when in reality, they kind of suck.  So, here’s a list!:

-Laundry at the U of M is not magically better than laundry at other schools.

When a prospective student is first be touring the campus, they may be shown a fairly empty laundry room and told how there are websites and texts that magically make everything super easy when cleaning clothes.  This is wrong.  The website laundryview.com doesn’t really work. It is supposed to be able to tell you how many minutes are left in a washing or drying cycle.  In reality, its times are inaccurate or sometimes just not there.  It is supposed to tell you which machines are available for use and which ones are empty or out of service.  In reality, it can almost never tell when a machine is broken, or when someone just opened the door but didn’t take out the stuff.  Also, not even talking about the website, doing laundry just kind of sucks.  There are never enough machines for the times when people are washing….which is basically every waking hour. So people are always forced to wait around the room for an open machine because they are taken up not just by people’s clothes being cleaned, but also people’s clothes just sitting there from an irresponsible owner.  Buddy, if you don’t move your clothes from the washer/dryer within 5 minutes of the cycle ending, you can expect to find your clothes sitting on a dirty shelf somewhere because you were being selfish.  It’s a bit cruel, but necessary.  Oh, and I cannot for the life of me figure out that texting service. Maybe I’m stupid or something, but it just makes no sense and doesn’t seem practical at all.

-The all-you-care-to-eat dining hall is not this magic wonder land of choice and taste.

Who could have guessed that what is essentially the school cafeteria is not as great as they describe it to be?  First of all, the hours kind of suck. If you’re a late eater who prefers to eat after 7, you had best find someplace else to eat because you’re getting jack-shit, aka nothing because it is ALREADY FREAKING CLOSED.  Now, assuming you do get there sometime after the initial opening time, you are pretty much guaranteed to have at least half of the items you grab that are supposed to be warm, be cold.  You ever have cold scrambled eggs? Or pancakes?  Or cinnamon buns?  Not that great. Really, unless you happen to get there when the latest batch comes out, you are a little screwed.    Anyway, you get your moderately warm food and manage to find a fork (which is hidden somewhere half the time) and you make your way to the drink fountains.   Want some lemonade?  Whoops, too bad, the button doesn’t work.  Want some orange juice?  Whoops, even with two spots dedicated to orange juice, it has somehow run out.  Ok then, want some apple juice?  BAM!  The black nozzle thing pops off into your cup and you get apple juice all over that shirt you were going to wear today.  Nice.

-You cannot find coffee or non-university food at all on the weekends.

All the coffee shops and other non-dining hall campus eateries are closed on the weekends (or at least Sunday).  Yup, that’s right.  If you are studying in the library and want a bagel and coffee break before getting back to work, well, tough shit.  Nothing is open!  If you really want food, you’ll either need to drag your butt to a full-on meal at the closest dining hall or go a bit out of your way to something that isn’t right on campus.  Ridiculous.

-Those shiny faucets with awesome water pressure in the public bathrooms, and the new smelling facilities you see everywhere?  Yeah, those are nothing like the dorms.

The facilities in all the other buildings are typically much better than the ones students have to deal with every day in their dorms.  You want decent sinks?  About one of every 20 rooms in a dorm will give that to you.  Want a new smelling room?  Almost none of the dorms are newly made/refurbished.  If at this point, you’re still expecting dorms to be super special awesome, you put your hopes too high my friend.

-Middlebrook’s tower is not a place of freedom and choice…or roominess.

So, maybe you are moving into Middlebrook and watched a video online showing what the rooms and bathrooms would be like.  As of this year, it is pretty much a lie if you are moving into the tower.  Personal belongings used to be allowed to stay in bathrooms, but now bathrooms are meant to be used by anyone from any room at any time so only one soap and one towel are the most that are allowed to stay.  Now, I like the idea behind this decision. It makes bathrooms easier to clean for the cleaning people…at least, that’s what it was supposed to do.  However, if I have been living here for a few weeks, and some of the things in the bathroom are still just as clean as when I first got here (like the small metal shelves) then I have no sympathy for the cleaners since they barely do anything.  How hard would it be to wipe down a shelf with nothing on it? You barely even clean the sinks or showers (hair is still there half the time after cleaning).  I don’t want to be mean, it just isn’t fun being in a messy bathroom.  Also, the dorm rooms showed in the Middlebrook videos and pictures are mostly suites, which are like none of the rooms. Most rooms are double rooms, which are for two people and tiny as hell. Guess they aren’t very picture-friendly, but you can’t just hide the truth like that!  There are literally only suite room pictures on the Middlebrook Hall website.  Seriously?

Alright, that’s enough complaining for now.  Now, you must remember that I basically took the worst things that have happened over the course of me being here, combined them, and infused them with anger to make everything seem worse than it really is.  It’s nice here.  Really, it is.  It’s just that sometimes you want to vent/share your adventures with others.  Just like this post.

EDIT: Today, not long after posting this blog post, the bathroom was cleaned again and this time the shelves were cleaned. O_O Cleaning people are reading my blog!  …or, you know, it was just a different person who was more thorough at cleaning.